Female Libido and Pain

Have you noticed your woman disinterested from any or all advances to make love? Assuming you've ruled out BO, halitosis and various psychoses, then maybe you need to dig a little deeper for the cause. You may not be a bad lover or a loser after all. In fact, there could be another reason: pain  (Remember:  Sex is Incredibly Physically Important for Males.)

That's right - it is VERY common - and we'll cover some of the common issues below - for women to experience pain during intercourse.  "But she would tell me if there was a problem like that!"  Not necessarily, Casanova.  First of all, it may not be bothering her all the time and, secondly, she knows this is an emotional topic for us guys.  Let's face it:  if she told you, you would probably think she was really saying, "Not tonight, dear, I've got a headache", right? 

Regardless, there are probably a hundred reasons - women are pretty complex if you haven't noticed - that she might not tell you and pain is suprisingly common, so you should be aware.  Remember that probably not even a horn dog like you would want to have sex if it felt like you were getting catheterized, so be patient with her.

So what causes pain for females?  Unfortunately, many things.  For us guys, about the only thing that causes us pain during intercouse is if we fall off the chair or the overhead mirrors land on our forehead.  And you'd be unlikely to complain anyway unless you had a spear through your thigh, eh?

That said, it pays to be aware of some of the common things that can cause pain for females:

1.  Yeast Infection.  A full-blown yeast infection will make intercourse about as pleasurable as 120 grit sand paper on your scrotum.  Sometimes women have a less pervasive infection that causes them discomfort.  Over the counter medications can generally help with this.

2.  Dryness.  This one can be caused by many factors from hormones to lack of foreplay on your part, you Eager Beaver.  One important thing to keep in mind is that a number of common medications can increase or cause vaginal dryness, a topic that I cover in my link on Vaginal Dryness and Drugs.

3.  UTI's.  Urinary tract infections make everything hurt "down under" for her.  Of course, the solution is a antibiotic, although cranberry juice should also help.

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4.  STD's.  Herpes is a prime example and can cause considerable discomfort during outbreaks.  Look for the "pimples" and get her to go to the doc if necessary.  Chlamydia can trigger Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) which will take the fun out all sex until she gets proper medication.

5.  Vulvodynia.  This is very common and basically refers to "pain of the vulva", the vulva being that worshipped little mound above a woman's vagina.  This is generally handled by docs who specialize and have experience with this condition.

6.  Cervix Issues.  A lot of women have a uterus that can get in harm's way during intercourse.  How would you feel if every thrust thumped your bladder or kidney, big fella?  There's no pill for this as it is generally caused by the genetic positioning of the uterus in her abdomen.  The only solution is to try different positions, you lucky dog!

7.  Endometriosis.  Does your woman have very painful periods and frequent pelvic pain?  It could be endometriosis, a common condition where uterine tissues actually disperse into neighboring parts of her body.  One side effect can be painful sex.

It is important that you deal with the pain as soon as possible for many reasons.  Of course, you want to find the underlying medical issue and, in addition, it is possible that she can develop a very common condition called vaginismus.  Vaginismus occurs when a woman experiences an involuntary tightening of the PC muscles, the ones engaged during Kegel Exercises, making intercourse painfully difficult or even impossible.  Researchers have noted that this condition can occur seemingly without cause (idiopathic), but can occur after rape, anxiety and painful sexual encounters.

There are many, many other things that can cause under-the-sheet discomfort for females, but this is a good starting overview.  Again, this is another difference between guys and gals:  we have few such problems that take us out of commission. So we need to be sympathetic, ask questions and get her to a good doctor if there is a problem.  Once you remove the pain, you should get your old tigress back...