Some of you consider marriage and death to be nearly synonymous and I'm certainly not here to try to change your mind. However, the majority (of Americans at least) still value marriage, and so here I explore some of the ways to "keep the flame alive". Actually, these are not romance tips, but rather general factors that can form a base for a solid marriage according to the research.

NOTE: In my link on Why Get Married?, I discuss the reasons why society values marriage and how it, on average, leads to a more stable sex life for those interested.

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Below are The Eight Key Factors to Make Your Marriage Last according to the research anyway. Divorce rates are actually quite paltry if you'll follow some of these tried and true formulas. For example, Time Magazine reports that "81% of college grads who wed in the 80's at 26-plus were still married 20 years later". [3] That's a very high rate and shows what putting just one of these factors to work can do.

Of course, I know there is no formula for love, but there does seem to be some statistics involved nonetheless:

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Men's education [1]

Some college. [2]

Male and female relationship happiness levels. NOTE: Relationship happiness is also correlated with sexual frequency. [1]

Having a young child between the ages of 3 and 4. NOTE: The more kids the less sex, though, on average. [1] [2]

Higher annual income [2]

Relgious affiliation. [2]

Family of origin intact (versus divoced parents). [2]

Marrying past the age of 25. [2]

Another interesting set of research shows that the more a couple encourages mutual personal growth into medium term goals, the stronger the relationship. [4] We're all looking for "affirmation of our ideal selves" according to this study and the old school macho you-are-here-to-serve-me philosophy just won't work. In other words, the best relationships come from those who help the other person be the best they can be.

REFERENCES:

1) "Sexual Frequency and the Stability of Marital and Cohabiting Unions", http://paa2007.princeton.edu/download.aspx?submissionId=71772

2) The State of Our Unions, Marriage in America 2009, http://www.virginia.edu/marriageproject/pdfs/Union_11_25_09.pdf

3) Time, May 24 2010, p. 47.

4) http://www.futurity.org/society-culture/loving-partners-sculpt-like-michelangelo/, Eli Finkel, Prof. of Psychology at Northwestern University.

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