Oxytocin and Sex
I have shown you that Sex will 1)
increase testosterone, 2)
improve erectile dysfunction, 3) help you sleep better
and even 4) lower stress hormones. Oh, and by the way, it feels good too.
So, believe it or not, sex is actually good for you.
In fact, it is very, very good for you. Now if you're the typical guy, you are saying, "I
already knew that! My problem is that I
can't get The Woman to understand that!" For most males the
issue isn't making a New Year's resolution to have more sex. The problem
is simply that it's kind of hard to have sex without a willing partner.
So how do we as males usually cope with the unwillingness or disinterest of our
partner? We curse the darkness. We sob uncontrollably. We
become angry. We resort to blatant manipulation and whining. And
then, eventually, we give
But there is a better way, my friend, and it has to do with hormones. You must
get your woman's hormones involved or tonight's endless passion isn't going to
happen. You're no different by the way: your hormones must be
engaged for you to be interested in making love. So why would you think
the feamle in your life is any different?
At some point we have to come to the realization that a woman will not make love
unless she wants to make love. And, for the most part, a woman doesn't
want to make love for the same reasons that a man wants to because her hormonal
makeup is very, very different.
I am going to tell you what you already know - most women are HIGHLY stimulated
by touch. There is a reason
for that: oxytocin. Oxytocin receptors are generally located in the same
areas of the brain that are heavily concentrated with dopamine receptors and
dopamine is the neurotransmitter associated with things like morphine, cocaine
and sex - the build up of an orgasm floods one's system with dopamine.
So oxytocin is right there at the pleasure centers in the
brain. However, in a male oxytocin's effects are somewhat inhibited by
testosterone.  What about in the female? In the female, oxytocin
is fully available to create feelings of bonding, intimacy and even pleasure.
Furthermore, some research suggests that estrogen can actually more fully
activate the effects of oxytocin. And this is critical: oxytocin
in women lowers stress hormones.  (It's so powerful that can even lower
her blood pressure!) In other words, if you can figure out a way to increase your partner's oxytocin
levels, you will both give her many positive emotions AND de-stress her
while you're at it. Notice that oxytocin is
as good for a woman's health as testosterone is for a male.
In fact, there is one
Pubmed report of a woman that was sprayed with Oxytocin to
get her milk to let down for breast feeding. She noticed "copious
transudate trickling down her leg" and then intense sexual desire followed.
She initiated sex with her partner and, well, I'll let you read the rest of the
story. Now this is not an everyday occurrence with oxytocin, but it shows
the power in some women for this love-building hormone.
This same study points out that other hormones such as estrogen also increase and
potentiate oxytocin and, in that kind of environment, seem to have an
aphrodisiac-like effect.  This has definitely been documented in
So what I'm getting at is that if you want to get a male involved in sex, you've
got to think testosterone. But with a female, that ain't gonna work:
even a low testosterone guy has 6+ times the level of testosterone that his
Woman has. No, with females we need to think oxytocin.
The question then becomes: how do we get in there and boost her oxytocin
Don't you think that your chances at a night of love would then be much better, Lucky
To answer that question, let me give you oxytocin's nickname: the "Touch
Hormone". What is it called the Touch Hormone? Because one
critical way it is
activated is by the sense of touch.
That's where massage comes in. You must add this to your arsenal if you
have not already. A good massage is like foreplay to a woman and guess
what? She cannot help it. She is wired that way. Touch for
her - and massage is one of the most pleasureable forms of touch - is a little
slice of heaven every time you do it.
For those interested, I'll move onto the next class:
The Fundamentals of Massage 101.
1) Johnson, Steven. "Emotions and the Brain: Love". Discover Magazine. May 1,
2) Biol Psychiatry,2003 Dec 15,54(12):1389-98
3) Neurosci Biobehav Rev, 1992, 16:131-144
4) Hormones and Behavior, Feb 1999, 35(1):38-46, "Conjugated Estradiol Increases
Female Sexual Receptivity in Response to Oxytocin Infused into the Medial
Preoptic Area and Medial Basal Hypothalamus"