Don't read this page before lunch. In fact, make sure that you are not digesting much of anything, because below I have some of the strangest penis (and one testicle) stories that you'll ever run across.

This is one page that actually hurts to write, but at least after reading some of these stories, you'll be shopping for a Kevlar cup and treating the Little Man downstairs with a little more respect. These stories will also make you appreciate your own penis, regardless of size, color or national origin. In fact, it will make you appreciate just having one!

1. Grease Gun Injury. Ouch! One study documents the sad case of a man trying to enlargen his penis with a grease gun. [1] It apparently worked for about seven years, but he eventually had to seek treatment because he developed erectile dysfunction. So was it worth being Big Man on Campus for those seven years? Apparently not - the poor guy experienced significant fibrosis, tissue hardening, that had to be corrected with multiple operations.

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2. Self-Removal. One elderly Romanian man accidently chopped off his own penis while trying to cut off the head of a noisy chicken. [2] To add insult to injury, his loyal dog thought it was a treat and promptly ate his master's severed penis. You talk about a bad night! I don't know about you, but I'll never complain again...

3. Accidental Biting. One secretary in Singapore was having an affair with and performing oral sex on her lover in transit, when the car was involved in a collision with a van. [2] The force of the crash with the van caused her to accidently bite off her lover's penis. Who was driving the van? We don't know, but we suspect we know who paid him...

4. Testicular Death. One man was killed instantly after being kneed in the testicles during a fight. [4]

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5. Icelandic Phallogical Museum. Yes, there is a Penis Museum. And, no, we are not sure who would go to a Penis Museum. Regardless, it currently houses the penises of over 90 animals and just had its first human donor. One of the patrons signed over his member upon death. [5] What a way to be remembered, eh?

6. Hitler's Testicular War Injury. It's no secret that Hitler was impotent, but did you know that there is some decent evidence that he lost a testicle in a war injury? Too bad he didn't lose the other one is all that we can say! [6]

REFERENCES:<:

1) http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1279682/

2) http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/1473379/Mans-penis-eaten-by-dog.html

3) http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/5/5/nation/3830725&sec=nation

4) http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/2703355.stm

5) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Icelandic_Phallological_Museum

6) http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/ howaboutthat/3481932/Nazi-leader-Hitler-really-did-have-only-one-ball.html

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