There is no question my drive on TRT has been about the same as it was in my mid 20's. Unfortunately for a 55 year old guy, women my age and older are different, even on HRT. "Don't touch me" or "That was not very nice" is, unfortunately, a typical response to affectionate touch.
Sadly, I've given up trying. Of note, the tension at home is gone now. No more endless excuses and reasons to avoid sex. I'm not kidding when I say that the same 10 reasons were used in a rotating and predictable pattern. I could almost plan on Monday being the headache excuse, and Friday being the tired excuse.
I do not have an addictive personality and it's been said I have serious self control. So that's made it possible for me to live with this. Also, I do recognize that, for all practical purposes, I'm done. My sex life has come and gone.
It was an incredible struggle for the last decade. A constant series of thoughts would occupy my mind, wondering how I could "fix" the situation. I tried a lot of them too, from the gym to the airplane ownership and so on. In the end, I've accepted it can't be fixed if I want to remain married.
Note: post menopausal women will tell you they still like sex. I believe it's more accurate to say they like the "idea" of sex, and remember it fondly. But don't actually want it much or at all. Many of my older friends say older women use it as a hook, and it stops when the man is hooked.
I can't blame her, it's outside of her control. What I can control is myself and my actions.