This response is off medical topic. But I felt compelled to at least out it out there.
I think that you owe it to yourself and your wife to have the long hard discussion about having kids...or not.
Not trying to be preachy here but something that big must be dealt with. Or long term things can really explode. If your wife thinks you guys are trying while you are somewhat intentionally and knowingly keeping your fertility downgraded or shut down completely, I would suspect your wife WHEN she finds this out will feel betrayed and extremely hurt and probably resentful. Not to mention angry. Seems to me the hard discussion will have to take place sooner or later. And if later after she finds out you knew that fertility was at best questionable will make that later discussion MUCH more emotional and difficult.
you are free to decide what you think is best.
Just my 2 cents if it is even worth that.
I appreciate your comment. I could on about this for a long time but in a nutshell we've been married going on 11 years. She had a child out of wedlock when i met her. 3 years into marriage we conceived our 2nd child. 2 years later a 3rd child. But since the conception of our 2nd child, our marriage has pretty much stopped. Now that our youngest is getting ready to start kindergarten, she wants another one? Hinestly, we need to work on our relationship before adding another child.
Im not going to sneak off and get a vasectomy..... so it would be nice i could just say "i cant have anymore "
Putting aside the fact that ive been rejected the last 7 years (no communication, no hand holding, have to ask for hugs and kisses, marriage bed is always given as a rushed, aggravated chore that happens on average of about once every 2 months)..... she told me the other day that she wanted things to be normal and she didnt want to be miserable anymore...... then she immediately threw in "oh and i want another baby"
Long nutshell.... but another child doesn't need to be brought into an unstable environment