Newbie Here, My story thus Far....

[Kroyals]

Wow....first time on this forum.  Great discussions and honesty. 

[PeakT]

Welcome!

Part of the problem is that our libido is normally so strong that it's almost out of control.  So a woman cannot fathom that anything could stop it other than disinterest, an affair, etc.   

[Anon123]

Welcome!

Part of the problem is that our libido is normally so strong that it's almost out of control.  So a woman cannot fathom that anything could stop it other than disinterest, an affair, etc.

Would that not be more like that when we are in our teens and twenties? I mean after that, things do tend to die down for every man (or most men?). I know very well that I am 30 now, and it is clear to me that I am, sadly, no longer 22. Or 17.

[PeakT]

Would that not be more like that when we are in our teens and twenties? I mean after that, things do tend to die down for every man (or most men?). I know very well that I am 30 now, and it is clear to me that I am, sadly, no longer 22. Or 17.

A healthy male in his 30's normally has a very powerful libido.  Most healthy men struggle to stay in control and not do anything stupid at this age.  We were built to procreate, be with a partner and other libido-required lifestyles that ensured our survival after all.

[Anon123]

Would that not be more like that when we are in our teens and twenties? I mean after that, things do tend to die down for every man (or most men?). I know very well that I am 30 now, and it is clear to me that I am, sadly, no longer 22. Or 17.

A healthy male in his 30's normally has a very powerful libido.  Most healthy men struggle to stay in control and not do anything stupid at this age.  We were built to procreate, be with a partner and other libido-required lifestyles that ensured our survival after all.

And yet each man has a different sex drive, so whilst some may be nearly 'out of control', others have a lower sex drive, but that doesn't necessarily mean they are not healthy. I think the age for which a man would be at risk of being out of control would be the 'wild' teens or twenties, but after that, by both self-mastery and maturity, greater control and common sense should prevail.

[PeakT]

both self-mastery and maturity, greater control and common sense should prevail.

Well, it's hard to argue against these.  The only thing I'm a little concerned about with what you are saying is that it could easily turn into the "low-libido-is-just-a-normal-part-of-aging" philosophy.  This is the kind of thing that doctors are constantly telling us and I assert that a solid libido is a part of being healthy male of almost any age.  However, all of that said, I completely agree with what I think you are saying, i.e. that cooler head prevail and self-discipline should be an ever-growing part of your life.

[Anon123]

both self-mastery and maturity, greater control and common sense should prevail.

Well, it's hard to argue against these.  The only thing I'm a little concerned about with what you are saying is that it could easily turn into the "low-libido-is-just-a-normal-part-of-aging" philosophy.  This is the kind of thing that doctors are constantly telling us and I assert that a solid libido is a part of being healthy male of almost any age.  However, all of that said, I completely agree with what I think you are saying, i.e. that cooler head prevail and self-discipline should be an ever-growing part of your life.

But isn't it? In primitive times, we wouldn't have lived much beyond 40, so the reproductive years would have been the teens and twenties. I'd be skeptical of any guy who says his libido is just the same as it was when he was 18.

[PeakT]

Oh, I agree with that.  To be honest, I don't want my libido to be like it was when I was 18!  It's kind of nice to be able to think straight if you know what I mean.  I'm just saying that if your libido is low, you should look into why and not just assume that that is a normal part of aging.

[Anon123]

Oh, I agree with that.  To be honest, I don't want my libido to be like it was when I was 18!  It's kind of nice to be able to think straight if you know what I mean.  I'm just saying that if your libido is low, you should look into why and not just assume that that is a normal part of aging.

Well I don't even know what's normal lol. I just feel things have slowed up. I know I saw some attractive lady on a magazine or newspaper cover and I felt nothing. It was like I knew she was attractive but I didn't feel any rush like before.

Anyway, with some depression, ad sleeping apttern due to late internet nights, colitis medication, (possibly diminished T from varicoceles), unemployment, lack of exercise, and generally feeling sorry for myself, I guess that takes its toll on the body. I had been exercising when I was working every day, but now I've fallen back into bad ways.

[PeakT]

Derm:  I think you've got a good attitude about it in the sense that there's no point in getting all stressful about it.  But I respectfully disagree about the magazine cover thing.  You should feel something.  Again, don't panic, but just keep working at it.

You've got a lot going on and I know that and I think we all have sympathy for the unemployment, etc.  Again, just don't give up and keep working at it and you're going to have some good stories to tell someday...

[spiderman]

"Well I don't even know what's normal lol. I just feel things have slowed up. I know I saw some attractive lady on a magazine or newspaper cover and I felt nothing. It was like I knew she was attractive but I didn't feel any rush like before."

Hey Derm...been there..impossible to get any kind of rush when the its last thing on your mind and as we all know there is no interest in ANYTHING when you are depressed..
We all need the feel good factors in our heads before you are going to get any kind of "rush" from checkin attractive woman out again. Its a battle to get those endorphines going again and too easy just to give up but don't...The whole libido/drive thing will come back but you have to help yourself and fight...