What do you mean: whatever you want to call it?
Stress/depression-related-HPA related secondary hypongadism hasn't been pegged down yet. Otherwise we'd all have been diagnosed with it. But since endocrinologists, won't believe you unless you have a sample size of a few hundred thousand/million people, they won't acknowledge it exists.
If you have a low T,(total testosterone under 500 or a low T/E ratio), those are determined by blood tests
have you had a blood test?
I haven't done a recent one yet. My latest test i had 14 n/mol, but I was obese then. But the difference then was I didn't have any of these symptoms, so my hypogonadism was obesity related. When I lost weight, whatever symptoms I had, subsided.
Because you have not and say, " Whatever you want to call it" then toss in a justification/opinion of what you think happened...I'm going to say get a blood test and know for sure.
I strongly suspect I have stress-induced/depression induced secondary hypgonadism. In my initial onset I had a week of untreatable insomnia. I was studying then, and I had, had an erratic sleep pattern for months since I started university. In my initial onset i had a row of symptoms. I was getting weaker everyday and my muscles were getting looser and softer. I was an insomniac, and I was getting terrible brain-fog. In the seventh day... the day after the exam(Which I failed because of insomnia and brain-fog).... I just crashed into oblivion. It feelt like being burned out but 10x times worse.
It was the worst 2 weeks of my entire life. I could barely walk... I was a living-dead, just a thing. There was nothing animate about me other than my breathing. My head hurt, my feet ached just by walking 50 feet, food didn't have any taste. My libido vanished, my penis was dead. I couldn't think of anything, and whatever thoughts I had were just slow-nonsense. I had sucidal thoughts, I feelt-dead inside, hopeless beyond measure, and I keept ruminating about dying. At that point I was so apathetic, so indifferent, I could watch an execution on a gore-website and not feel a thing. I might aswell have been dead. And I couldn't sleep for the life of me. The absolute bottom of the pit was reached for me. I wanted nothing more than to put a 9mm to my temple and blow my brains out or jump infront of a train.
After 2 weeks I still wasn't myself, so I didn't care what I did, I sleept at irregular times, ate alot of crap, played video-games and watched movies and did whatever I could(literally all the weight I had lost in the previous I regained) to numb myself and forget. Just activate myself so that I could function, if not just to think about the painful thoughts.
It worked... after a month of just distracting myself, some of the symptoms subsided. I didn't ruminate, I wasn't suicidal, some of the apathy subsided, I was emotionally flat, but atleast I could feel something different than mental pain and suicidal thoughts. I wasn't thinking at all. And it helped me get over the worst parts of it.
I'm better now, but I still haven't fully recovered(and I don't know if ever will, without some form of medication or HRT/TRT). I've worked out some of the emotional issues, I've worked out some of the physical symptoms, and I'm just getting the insomnia under control.
I strongly suspect that this entire thing has made me hypogondal, by overstressing HPA-axis to the point where they're damaged and won't recover. I've been at this overstressing thing for years, but I've finally might have just blowed out the fuse, whatever it is that keeps the HPA going and pumping out the normal amounts of hormones, it might have just been trashed or gone. That's my biggest worry. But I still have time to wait and see. And so far things have improved and I might not be that far-gone yet. But I'll have to wait and see a few months.
The problem with this, is, I don't know if i'm depressed because my HPA took a dive into the toilet, and took all my hormones with it, or if my depression caused my HPA to take a dive into the toilet. I don't know if this condition is permanent at all. That's what worries me the most. Will I ever be able to go back to normalcy.
What is your diet like? Processed/sugary foods?> any veggies/fruits?
My diet was fine, until I started university and got depressed/hypogondal, after that it's been erratic. Sometimes just trash food, sometimes healthy food. But nothing consistent, not like before. I'm trying this week to change that. And so far i'm suceeding.
My current symptoms are these: fatigue, Insomnia(I'm just getting it under control, by limiting computer usage), partial-emotional flatness(this is just beginning to subside), lack of motivation(though this has improved) , irritability(I can yell at somebody over the most trivial stuff, before this, i was easy-going), lack of morning wood(weight-related partially atleast), poor erections(could be weight-related)
are you on a proper sleep schedule?
I don't know what that means, I've always had problems with insomnia, especially after I became addicted to the internet(7-8 years ago). It took me years to realize that it was one of the main problems for not sleeping. Only when i abstained did I have some sort of consistent decent sleep.
are you working out?
I only restarted today, after 8 months absence. It hasn't done much for me, not like it used to, anyway.
When you do workout, do you just go to the gym and wander around?
No... gym memberships are expensive.
do you feed yourself after?
I am near a weight that I had a blood test that showed a low Total T/low T/E
If you're obese, and have transient depressive symptoms, you're likely not having clinical depression or permanent T-issues. I also had Low-T and transient feelings of bad and being fatigued, but it pretty much reversed by dropping 30 pounds. Trust me if you had clinical-depression/low-T, you'll feel it. It's nothing like the very mild, reversible secondary hypogonadism related to obesity young men have.
yet, I workout 2-3x a week, and I'm stronger than I've ever been, Because I go to the gym with a pre-set goals and after I eat and shower/take care of myself and I get to sleep at a decent time 90% of the time.
Maybe you do have LowT, but even if you do, you can still go out and kick ass, stop feeling bad for yourself....I don't get why you are so depressed, any ideas?
Sorry dude, depressed people with low-t don't go out and kick ass. We're not normal or right in the head. You live barely in a exisential minimum, eating, shitting, going to sleep, hoping all the unexplainable symptoms and feelings go away someday. If it was a simple as just positive thinking, we could've solved it by then. I'd just think happy positive thoughts. But it's not... theyre subtle hormonal issues. Related to HPA-axis and brain chemicals. Some people go on for decades not knowing why they feel like shit, even if they have worked the emotional stuff.
The reason I crashed and got depressed in the first place was because I have learning disabilities that hinder the careers I wanted to ontake, when you have trouble getting where you want, you feel bad, you feel useless. I've been feeling bad about that for years, but I managed to turn that around 8 months ago, and I was always able to recover from my short bouts of getting blues. Another related problem was my insomnia, probably one of the major reasons why I feelt bad without having any reason to.
I think my LD problems worked in cohoots with my insomnia to bring about HPA-trauma/clinical depression, which lead me to this state, it was all created by the long-term partial sleep-deprivation, stress of studying for a big-exam and LD issues resurfacing. Lacking sleep makes you depressed, and thinking about life-central things that are crap, makes you even more depressed, and if you've been having partial-sleep deprivation for weeks, and you're working like a hamster on a wheel, studying, the effect stacks up. I wasn't living normally even before this.