I've looked for more solid info on this online and not found much, other than the notion that "as men age, their erections change".
I talk about my "ED issues", but the truth is that the last time I really couldn't complete a sexual encounter was sometime in October, and before that it was sometime in August (July was Hell, but that was another story).
What I mostly notice now is a disturbing lack of rigidity in my normal (Cialis-free) erections, and even the ones on Cialis as well. But I wonder how much of this is my own mind/perception. I had been aware for maybe a year before things came crashing down in May that my erections were maybe not quite what they had used to be, but I never really worried about it that much until I had my first real ED experience and then basically lost my ability to have sex for a period of months (interrupted by about a month when Cialis worked, before it stopped working in July).
Now of course I'm terrified of repeating THAT situation, and I'm in Clomid which might be making me emotionally more fragile than usual.
Anyway -- my question is for any of you more experienced men out there. If you don't think of yourself as having ED, then in what ways has your EQ (erection quality) changed over the years?
I notice that I do not get as hard or swollen as I used to. I also remember feeling a sort of throbbing "pulse" in my erections that I just don't seem to feel anymore, not even on low-dose Cialis. Even on Cialis, my erections are often "bendable", meaning I can bend them maybe 45 degrees at the middle (upwards, but not so much downwards) even though they are rigid enough for penetration.
Is this just a "typical" middle aged erection? Is it something to worry about? I feel like I get really worked I about it but at the same time I know that a year ago I might have NOTICED but not CARED so much.
I know a huge part of my worry is paranoia about going back to the essential impotence that characterized this past July. I'm pretty much out of that now (thank God), but the trauma of it -- and the reality of my apparently altered erections -- is messing with my head (and I doubt the Clomid is helping).